I don’t know if I’m a person anymore or just a thing that fights

We said we would do it later 
And the joke is, the thing is, time 

We wanted a break, a rest, we wanted 
And now we would break down for a bit of certainty 

A bit of routine, a bit of it’s safe, it’s safe, it’s all clear
I don’t know if I’m a person anymore or just a thing that fights 

It’s for each other, it’s for the greater good, but the fear is real
Fighting against this thing in our homes, washing our hands more 

Than any of us have ever considered washing hands before
Good, it’s good, I know but the level veers into obsession 

We have to wash our groceries, packages, we have to be ever on alert
So on alert that sleep feels surreal, odd to engage in 

We make love every night, it has to be the stress, it has to 
Have something to do with feeling like every day something is 

Around the corner and it is not going to be normal 
Anymore 

We will worry what is in us, around us, we will know
The truth of our nation, our economic system, we will know 

What has been exposed by this global event
We are global, we are sharing

Even if those in control of lives and resources, of dollars and no sense
Want to act as if there’s some sort of separation, as if 

A virus respects borders, respects state lines, 
As if a virus respects the need for the market to keep

The rich richer – I read somewhere that we lost a few millionaires 
And somehow that is upsetting, when in fact

No one should be a millionaire 
In a world where anyone at all goes hungry 

No one should be a millionaire
In a world where health care providers are wearing trash bags as PPE

We awake, I scroll through the news, check the ticker, check the numbers
No not of stocks, no not of bonds, of lives – lives taken, lives in balance

I scroll and scroll and work up the will to 
Roll out of bed, begin the day 

A day spent in anticipation of 
Being able to relax 

Of feeling like a person 
Not just a thing that fights 

©Jenny Justice. All Rights Reserved. 

 Jenny Justice, Poet. Author of Love in the Time of Climate Change and Reveal. You can read more of her poetry at Justice Poetic.  Sign up for her newsletter here

Published by Jenny Justice

Jenny ‌Justice‌, Poet.‌ ‌Sociologist. Teacher. Mother. Woman. Author‌ ‌of‌ ‌Love‌ ‌in‌ ‌the‌ ‌Time‌ ‌of‌ ‌Climate‌ ‌Change‌ ‌and‌ ‌Reveal.‌ ‌

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